Midweek musings: With the Chicago Bears announcing Tuesday (Feb. 7) the addition of Jeremy Bates as quarterback coach, Jay Cutler should enjoy a greater level of comfort. Well, at least until he has to change a diaper or try to avoid a defender charging him from the blind side — whichever occurs first.
* Speaking of the Bears, you have to wonder whether the Bates addition merits a victory parade in Lake Forest. And if there was one, would the team’s receivers be able to follow the right route?
* The Bears said they will not have a passing game coordinator. Which means new offensive coordinator Mike Tice has to work closely with Bates. Either that or possibly run the ball all the time.
* Wondering whether Ozzie Guillen has been at more Chicago sports events since he was named Miami Marlins manager or during his entire tenure as White Sox manager. OK, so it’s the offseason and who wouldn’t want to spend it in Chicago rather than Miami? Guess you can take the guy out of Chicago but you can’t take the Chicago out of the guy. Well, if you could take the guy out of Chicago.
* Patriots fans probably find this distasteful: Online pawn shop Pawngo said it placed 8,000 Butterfingers in the middle of Boston’s Copley Square to pay mock homage to Pats receiver Wes Welker’s fourth-quarter drop in Super Bowl XLVI. Maybe today Giants fans would like to add some Snickers to all that.
Did someone mention the Super Bowl? Here is April Rose, a favorite of this site, at the Maxim Super Bowl party:
* The Minnesota Twins are auctioning off a baseball signed by Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. The two whose marriage is about to end in divorce signed the ball before he threw out a first pitch at a Twins game July 1, 2011. The Twins believe this might be the only baseball the two have signed together. A reminder: Scarcity itself does not mean something is valuable.
* Keep on truckin': The Cubs have loaded their trucks to head to spring training in Arizona. No word whether the front office is using metrics to gauge the effectiveness of the drivers’ performance.
* The best thing about the end of the NFL season is knowing the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue comes out next week (Feb. 14). Nothing like a gratuitous referenece to justify running some swimsuit video (see below).
Valentine’s Day is about hearts. And, of course, chocolate. The Ryan and Jenny Dempster Family Foundation has come up with a Candyality Chocolates and Casino Night package that just might satisfy that special someone in your life (or at least yourself). Included are two general-admission tickets to the foundation’s Casino Night May 9 at the Palmer House Hilton and a box of Candyality chocolates. Cost is $300 for the $525 Value. Proceeds benefit Chicagoland community organizations and support families of children with 22q.
The combo package is available at all three Candyality locations through Feb. 14:
* 3425 N. Southport Ave. (773-472-7800)
* 520 N. Michigan Ave. (312-527-1010)
* 835 N. Michigan Ave. (312-867-5500)
Online orders are available through Feb. 9. To order the package, you can click here.
While we wait for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue to come out Feb. 14, here is a little something from 2011:
Roller derby returns Saturday (Feb. 11) to the University of Illinois-Chicago Pavilion with the Windy City Rollers 2012 opener.
Hell’s Belles takes on The Fury at 6 p.m. with a battle between the Double Crossers and the Manic Attackers to follow. As incentive to arrive early, the first 100 fans will receive Team Fury bandanas. Halftime entertainment will be Shayna Swanson of Aloft Circus Arts with her Wheel Act. Tickets are available at ticketmaster.com. Entering the code WRECK12 will save $5 off general-admission tickets. A party after the bouts will be held at Bottom Lounge, 1375 W. Lake St.
Roller derby enthusiasts may be interested in ticket deals at firstname.lastname@example.org:
* General admission and VIP season ticket packages will be available through Feb. 29.
* Group ticket packages are available at a 40 percent discount for groups of 25 or more.
Persons interested in being part of the action also can become involved (no skating skills needed): Windy City Rollers Officiating will be hold an informational meeting on Feb. 24 at Brisku’s Bistro (4100 N. Kedzie Ave.) at 6 p.m. Persons who would like to become a referee or a non-skating official (NSO) are encouraged to attwho would like endend. Referee tryouts will be Feb. 25 at 2 p.m. For more information, you can email email@example.com.
Counting down the days till the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue comes out:
Advertising opportunities are available on elliottharris.com. For information and rates, contact firstname.lastname@example.org.