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Angelic Albert, Tremendous Tim & Much More

December 9, 2011 @ No Comments

Fearless Friday forecast (and arbitrary alliteration): Now that he has left the St. Louis Cardinals to sign with the Los Angeles Angels, Albert Pujols no longer will be a problem for the Chicago Cubs. Well, until they meet in the World Series. Oh, wait; that was only a 10-year contract signed Thursday for $254 million.

If you can tell who this is, you spend even more time at bikini contests than Elliott Harris does. To find out, you can scroll down.

* Not to say Pujols has not been accurate about his age, but by the time his contract with the Angels is up, he will be able to start filing his papers to receive Social Security benefits.

* Denver quarterback Tim Tebow will run for more touchdowns than he throws Sunday against the visiting Chicago Bears. Oh, wait; that was too easy. Tebow will have three times as many rushing attempts as he does completions. Oh, wait; still too easy. He will get hit hard and knocked a little silly and try to gather players from both teams for a postgame prayer during the middle of the third quarter.

* As long as we’re discussing heavy topics, Charlie Weis will inherit Mark Mangino’s Kansas football coach’s wardrobe. It will mark the first time Weis will have to have his clothes tailored to be more form-fitting.

* As long as we’re still discussing weighty topics, former Chicago Bulls center Eddy Curry will find his tryout with the Miami Heat to be a lot of exercise — mostly in futility.

* Still speaking of big guys, Prince Fielder will shift the balance of power in whatever division the team he signs with plays. Oh, wait; Fielder merely will shift the balance of the weight in the team bus to and from the hotel to the ballpark for road games. If he hits his weight, his new employer will be happy. Hey, who doesn’t want a .300 hitter in the lineup?

* Upon seeing the contract that Fielder signs for, Pujols will go to Angels management — not to ask for more money, because Fielder will sign for less — to have the name on the back of his jersey changed to King Albert.

* NBA commissioner David Stern, at the urging of a majority of owners, will have the Pujols deal with the Angels voided and award him to the Los Angeles Clippers with Chris Paul doing to the Angels and Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian going to New Orleans. Hey, the Hornets could use a couple of big bodies.

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Katie Gilligan has come a long way in a short time in the world of bikini competitions. Credit: Bersano Photography

Speaking of bodies (and even if we weren’t) …

For those of us who wander through events that feature women in bikinis and call it work (it helps to be slightly delusional to convince yourself that it actually is work and nothing else), stories such as the one that Katie Gilligan has to offer offset the hardship of having to look at so much skin and so little bikini.

But seriously, stories such as Katie’s are not uncommon. A woman decides to lose weight — and more than a few pounds. Next thing you know there she is in a bikini onstage in front of friends, family and strangers. And she lives happily ever after. Or until the next competition — which in her case figures to be in March in St. Louis. Road trip, anyone?

In Katie’s case, she parlayed her effort at the NABBA USA Great Lakes Open in November in Oswego, Ill., into a trip to Florida, where she became part of Team Bombshell the first weekend in December. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Congratulations, Katie. And continued success. One thing, though. Next time we do a video, it better not be in a warmup outfit. The least we can do for the readers/gawkers of this site is to provide video in a bikini. Thankfully, there’s a Don Bersano photograph that does give an idea of what Katie looks like in her outfit — and why Team Bombshell recruited her.

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On Thursday’s “Sports & Torts” with David Spada and Elliott Harris, NBA legend Jerry West and author Jonathan Coleman (who penned West’s autobiography West By West) were guests. The segment was not the usual light-hearted fare featured on the show that airs at noon Thursday’s on talkzone.com. It was, however, worth the time to hear West and Coleman discuss the world beyond jump shots and sneakers.

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Also appearing on Thursday’s “Sports & Torts” was model/multi-media threat Patricia Kara, an in-studio guest who definitely brought some glamor and fun to the show.

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